I stopped and gawked at a social media post today about friendship. The breakdown of the post was that if you feel like you are nervous about sharing good news with someone or if they cannot celebrate your success, it’s time to jump off the friendship train. Because is it really a friendship?
Just like a train, the post hit me hard, like I jumped out of the open car and tumbled down a hill. While I can successfully stand up after my tumble, I still have some sticks to pull out of my hair and some bruises to tend to. I have struggled with friendships the majority of my life, but not now. My current inner circle consists of women who are just as likely to offer you some homemade cookies as they are a kidney. That is my new standard, despite any ABO incompatibility*. I have to ask myself; how would my life be different if I had a hype girl in my earlier years? Maybe sadder, would I have accepted that friendship advice? Probably not.
I am deep into data collection on a new research project involving women’s CRNAs confidence in their careers. I have a sneaking suspicion, or more scientifically, a hypothesis that women with hype girls or mentors throughout their career rate themselves at higher confidence levels than women who cannot pinpoint a specific woman mentor. The prospect of my survey results terrifies me. I will have factors that hinder women’s careers on paper, supported by statistical analysis.
Can I speak for all of us when I say, we need that hype girl? I believe women crave the approval and support of others in order for us to thrive-at work, at home, and at play. Maybe it is my personal projection but this is all linked.
I think this is it. The terror, the feeling of falling or rolling down a hill. My initial endpoint was clinical anesthesia, but maybe this is my new purpose or area to put all of my energy in. Instead of nervously pondering about all the things, this project can be my thing: the research hype girl.
*FYI, I’m O+, and chocolate chip is my favorite cookie